Golden Laws to Greatness: #11 Relax/ Sleep . . . The Best Ideas Happen when You are Dreaming

"Inside my head there lives a dream that I want to see in the sun. Behind my eyes there lives a me that I've been hiding for much too long"

                                               

                                                India Arie, "Strength, Courage & Wisdom"

Ever woke up from a dream or was zapped out of a mental zone, only to pull out a great idea or simple solution to a complicated problem?  This semi-conscious or other conscious dimension is something that is spoken of from known names such as Zehanda of Zimbabwe to Albert Einstein (he studied African culture like Sigmund Freud).  They all have recounted dreams or visions in which they received their most brilliant or inspirational ideas.

If you look around today, we are caught in such a rat race, our dreams are disturbed with recurring nightmares of late bills, pending projects, children's tuition, or the recurring reality shows we can not shake from our psyches.  Two of top three under-diagnosed health/mental issues are sleep deprivation and untreated stress. 

Our bodies have been conditioned to operate in a "state of emergency" mode for so long, it seems normal after a while.  We are functioning on of coffee and anxiety, with little substance. Consequentially, we are dwindling to these mindless robotic machines.  Beyond the health and mental issues, we've lost our art of dreaming and interpreting our dreams. 

Dreams are very profound.  Even Oprah sleeps with a journal by her nightstand to log what she says are her "thoughts".  Read behind the lines.  She is journaling her dreams and writing what they mean. 

Destination: Chill out and drink some Kava Kava in Samoa, Fiji, or Tonga Islands in the South Pacific.  These islands enjoy warm climates year round, and are opulent in natural beauty and also known for its whales in the surrounding waters.

Lifestyle: Visit Birdland Jazz Club, a famous jazz spot named after musician Charlie Parker.  It's in New York City, located on 44^th Street. www.birdland.com; In Johannesburg, South Africa, the supper jazz club "Back of the Moon" was designed to honor Sophia Town musicians www.backofthemoon.co.za ; In London, Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club helps revitalize the city's Soho district that is noted for its vibrant culture; Listen to the smooth sounds of Bossa Nova in Sao Paolo, Brazil's, "Ao Vivo Music Club".

Alternate Lifestyle: Support your local jazz club.

Beauty:  Honey Milk Bath

• 1 cup honey
• 2 cups milk
• 1 cup salt
• 1/4 cup baking soda
• 1/2 cup baby oil
• Fragrance oil of your choice
Combine honey, milk, salt and baking soda in a bowl. Fill your tub and pour the mixture in. Add the baby oil and a few drops of the fragrance.

Health: Kava Kava can also be purchased at your local health store.  It is a natural calmative that gives you a pleasant tingle.

Golden Laws to Greatness: #10 Completion is Power

Completion is Power

I was hit with a personal crisis the day before I was to go on a weeklong training for a job I really wanted.  That morning as I cried my eyes out to a friend in Florida she told me that I had to get my ass up and go.  She kept saying, "Completion is Power".  With all of my snotty rags and medication, I did it and had a successful career in teaching. 

I still am thankful for her wisdom and support. She taught me a rough lesson I dodged for years.  I carried so much baggage from incomplete projects and not bringing life situations to closure.  Completion and closure represent consciously ending something for the purpose of opening up to another.  When you leave things open or unfinished it is like a bad wound festering until it becomes a disease that consumes a part of your life. 

Release and ending things have gotten a lot easier for me.  I hold the crown entitled "Queen of Cling", so I know all about grudges, lingering heartache, fear of moving forward, nagging insecurities, pack rat behaviors, mental obsessions, and obsession with my possessions (more so what I feel I am attached to).  Sister let me tell you, as a cancer, I still am challenged.

For me, the hardest part of completion, other than relationships, is completing personal projects.  I will do things at work and at school that will almost drive me crazy. But I get them done.  However, when it comes to me finishing my book, my business plans, or that poem, or my resume, or that pitch to Oprah, it gets mixed up with excuses and anxiety.   

Completion entails putting your needs as a top priority.  There are days you must put you first.  Be it losing weight or traveling to a destination you've dreamed of, do it sister, you got to.  Completion is power.

Destination:  Barcelona, Spain.  Lola Akinmade wrote a great article on www.Blacktravels.com called "See you in Pamplona" http://www.blacktravels.com/pamploma_lolaakinmade.html

Alternate Destination: Olvera Street, Los Angeles; Little Havana, Miami.

Lifestyle: Wine touring.  If there isn't a local wine tour by your home then visit a specialty shop that features wine.  Some of them offer samples.

Alternate Lifestyle: Throw a wine party….hmmm sounds like a good plan for Excursionista.

Beauty: Cracked lips are a sign that you are deficient in B-vitamins.  Chap sticks, lip gloss, Vaseline, and other lip emollients provide temporary if any relief. Many even further damage with the toxic chemicals in them.  Up your vitamin B intake and try an emollient that is natural or even consider pure vitamin E, coconut oil, pure cocoa butter, avocado oil (which I love), and refined shea butter (this is the kind that has a subtle smell instead of the mold that often plagues shea products using unrefined butter).

Health: Your vagina is very, very sensitive, but many mainstream products weaken our vaginas and wombs rather than strengthen them.  In particular, over-the-counter douching products have been shown to damage the vagina, leaving holes in the womb and causing other ailments.  However, you can still rinse that sacred area by creating your own feminine rinse.  First go to a local store that sells empty douche bottles such as Rite Aid, CVS, or Duane Reade pharmacy.  A basic feminine rinse is distilled water (not spring water) and organic apple cider vinegar (not white vinegar or table vinegar). For every cup put a tablespoon of vinegar.  The douche bottle holds about 2 cups. Boil the water and let is cool completely.  Then put in the vinegar.  After you have washed the bottle in boiled distilled water (don't burn yourself please) put in contents and enjoy a refreshing experience.  There are other combinations that you can read in several health books, but this basic feminine rinse is a great start. 

Golden Laws to Greatness: #9 Your Gift is Your Wealth

Your Gift is Your Wealth

"And I wish on all the rainbows that I see, I wish on all the people who really dream."

                                                            Rose Royce, "Wishing on a Star"

Black women are the masters of hustling.  We have no choice.  When you are sitting at the bottom of the social, political, and economic food chain it takes creativity, business savvy, and determination to survive. 

Yet, in the midst of us carving our existence, we often let our natural talents fall by the wayside.  When life hits us hard between children, jobs, relationships, and ensuring basic necessities, we justify the sacrifice of our knack or that distinctive thing we do, as something that was nice, but it never paid the bills.

Tsk, tsk sister, it is a new day.  Ain't God ever told you that the gift is your wealth, and that we can flourish spiritually, emotionally, and financially.  When I was young my mother used to sing a song by the 70s group Rose Royce on the guitar and piano.  It was called "Wishing on a Star".  My siblings and I would giggle at her small concerts.  My mama? Singing? Playing instruments? The age she was then, I am now.  The biggest difference was she was married with five children going on six. Me, I'm still single and have a lot of nieces, nephews, and godchildren. 

Today, my mother plays about twice, maybe three times a year, now for her grandchildren.  They now giggle and scream as she roughly go over notes she hasn't plucked in a long time.  Her beautiful guitar sits in the corner. 

I too struggle between pursuing my writing and performing, and hustling to eat another day.  This shit we got going on right here is serious, especially now since other people are feeling the economic crunch and our scrounging for dollars too.  It is getting savage out here.

I must offer you this gem that I got from one of the craziest men I called myself dating.  As I was balling up my fist like Miss Sophia on the "Color Purple," he said to me right before I was about to clock his ass, "It is a sin when you do not use your God given talent.  You gift is what makes your heart beat." 

I hesitated so I could mentally chew on those simple sentences I still remember verbatim.  Wish I would've taken the gem and ran, but the glutton for punishment I could be, I stayed, until I had to literally knock him the hell out some months later. Oh well, that was another lifetime, so let me continue with the golden law.

My love of writing and the performing arts feed my soul.  It is my therapy. It is my salvation. It has been in a lot of ways, my bread and butter.  More importantly, my gifts are my prayers. That is how we should see our gifts, as our prayers to the divine, which in turn are our prayers honoring our spirits.

One day, my mother and I will pray together.  She will be on the guitar and I will be reciting poetry.

Support and honor your sisters' gifts.   

Destination:  Your place of birth, your mama's house, or your grandmother's house.

Alternate Destination: Call them if you are far away.

Lifestyle: Acknowledge your gifts and meditate on how you can incorporate them in your daily life.  Think about a business you can sculpt around it.  Collaborate with others if you can.  Remember, this isn't a quick fix.  Respect your gifts. NEVER second guess and unapologetically release them on us troubled souls that are hungry for more authenticity in this superficial world.

Alternate Lifestyle: Buy and critique black art, black businesses, and black products.  There are quite a few sisters who are moving into their natural love of something.  Though it is a gift, all talents are cultivated and developed.  So if a sister tells you the shea butter body crème you made was not emollient enough, then take the suggestion and go back to your lab.  Recently, I've been doing my poetry again, and honestly my deliveries are not close to what I used to do several years ago.  I got work to do as well.

Beauty: Ugliness and disease start at the spiritual level then works down to cellular, finally emerging physically.  Notably this is the process of beauty, healing, happiness, and prosperity.  Reverse the negative and manifest all that is divine.

Health: One of my favorite tea combinations given to me by an elder whom I miss dearly. He is looking over me, I know this.  Womb tea, combine all of these herbs "Chamomile, Lemongrass, Hibiscus and Red Raspberry."  BUY YOUR HERBS IN BULK.  I've been shopping at this wonderful place called Penn Herb for years.  There selection is out of this world! Go to their site and see for yourself www.pennherb.com. 

Golden Laws to Greatness: #8 Be Fluid Like Water

Be Fluid Like Water

"Moving down the streams of my lifetime, Pulls the fascination in my sleeve"

                                                                   Lauryn Hill "Just Like Water"

Water is so cleansing and refreshing.  It represents the amniotic fluid of the world.  Somewhere, we've forgotten how to respect and use the spiritual and medicinal properties of water in our lives.  For starters, we do not drink enough of it, and the water is becoming so polluted.  In this little note, I am speaking of a metaphorical toxicity.

The ebb and flow of life can be frustrating when you do not understand that such a thing exists.  What exactly does ebb and flow mean?  In my opinion, life consists of constant cycles.  Each cycle represents a tier in our growth.  Within that tier you go through various stages which have two extremes, dry spells and floods.  We experience them both, in different volumes, and varied time frames.  

For me there was always a battle that had to be waged in coming to understanding.  Even when there was no need for one, I would show up and it would be on.  However, after my long battles, I would often look around and be standing alone. The alone part would always subside because often you will find yourself alone, but the part that always left me scratching my head was the fact that I exited from a battle more confused about who I was or where I was going.

As a result, the next step in my journey became unclear.  I became stagnant.  Worse, I made unhealthy choices and behaved in unproductive ways.  Similar to those who love drama, or sisters who love self-pity, or the self-righteous, who know every goddamn thing and wait for the opportunity to pounce on us inferior minds.  "In the middle of a whole bunch of nuthin'" some of my folk would say.

We immerse ourselves in bullshit because it is easy when we truly have lost our way.  Instead of moving with the natural flow of life, we stood unmoved and stubborn to growth like a huge crater in the river of our existence.  Over time, the water wore us down and we realized we were in the same place, chipped down raw, and flooded over.

I made a decision to be like an African water lily (if there is such a thing) effortlessly floating down an Amazon, Nile, Niger or Mississippi watercourse.  There were times when it gently kissed rocks or was sprayed with rapids, but it kept gliding.  I am that aquaboogie sister.

Destination: Why a mineral spring? Check out the benefits of mineral water.  Indigenous people have known and used them for centuries.  For instance, the native folk of what is now know America saw hot mineral springs as sacred spaces.  Unfortunately, the great expansion of the West has forcefully relocated the original inhabitants of the lands who probably can give us a deeper understanding of the springs.  Anywho, here are some spots to go hot spring crazy.

Japan. An island nation that sits on volcanoes, this country is teeming in hot springs that are attached to inns or public bath houses. 

Denver, CO. I know this sounds crazy being that it is freezing there right now, but just miles outside of the city are over a dozen hot mineral springs to visit. 

British Columbia, Canada.  This vast stretch of region has hot springs that range from Big Foot to all-luxury.

Malaysia. Make sure these hot springs are friendly for you because unfortunately

a huge sex trade goes on in south Asian regions and islands where people are economically disenfranchised.

Something's in the (mineral)Water! Hell yes, check it out!

POTASSIUM
     1.  Release of energy from cells
     2.  Manufacture of glycogen and protein
     3.  Regulates fluid balance
     4.  Transmission of nerve impulses
     5.  Important in maintaining normal heart beat
     6.  Muscle contractions
 SODIUM
      1.  Maintains normal fluid balance
     2.  Transmission of nerve impulses
     3.  Muscle contractions
     4.  Helps to increase permeability of cell walls
 CALCIUM    
     1.  Development and maintenance of strong bones & teeth
     2.  Protects against Osteoporosis
     3.  Ensures proper clotting of the blood
     4.  Needed for the contraction & relaxation of muscles, especially the heart
     5.  Needed for proper utilization of iron
     6.  Assists in the absorption of Vitamin B-12
     7.  Helps to regulate cell permeability
 MAGNESIUM
     1.  Helps to form strong bones and teeth
     2.  Helps to regulate muscle relaxation and contraction
     3.  Maintains proper function of nerves
     4.  Activates enzymes controlling energy metabolism
 SULFATE
     1.  Maintains healthy hair and nails
     2.  Needed in eliminating blood diseases
     3.  Helps to eliminate some skin diseases
     4.  Stimulates the liver and increases the flow of bile
     5.  Important in maintaining normal body metabolism
     6.  Detoxifies some poisons in the body
 AMMONIA
     1.  Breaks down into nitrates, which are found in the DNA of all living things
 PHOSPHATE
     1.  Development of strong bones and teeth
     2.  A component of the enzyme system in a cell, which governs the release of energy
     3.  Assists with protein production and defines the structure of cell DNA & RNA
     4.  Helps to maintain the neutrality of the bodys fluids

Alternate Destination: Go to any body of water and pray (i.e. ocean, gulf, lake, stream, river, brook, bayou, swamp, etc.)

Lifestyle:

Sycamore Hot Springs

1215 Avila Beach Drive

San Luis Obispo, CA 93405
Toll Free: 1 800 234 5831; Direct: 1 805 595 7302; Fax: 1 805 595 4007

www.sycamoresprings.com

Carson Hot Springs

St. Martins Road, Off Highway 84

Toll Free: 1 800 607 3678; Direct: 509 427 8292; Fax: 509 427 7242

Email: carsonhotspringresort@earthlink.net

Website: http://www.carsonhotspringresort.com/

Lava Hot Springs Foundation 

430 East Main

Lava Hot Springs, Idaho 83246
Toll Free: 1 800 423-8597; Direct: 1 208 776-5221

http://www.lavahotsprings.com/

Taupo Hot Springs & Health Spa

State Highway 5, Napier Taupo Highway

Taupo, New Zealand (Not far from Auckland)

http://www.taupohotsprings.com/

Peninsula Hot Springs

Springs Lane (formerly Devonport Drive)
Rye, 3941
Victoria, Australia
Direct:  61 3 5950 8777; Fax: 61 3 5950 8705

http://www.peninsulahotsprings.com/

Alternate Lifestyle: (Hot) Yoga class.

Beauty: Sea salt bath to remind you of the ocean. One pound of sea salt, 3 cups of baking soda, and an essential oil of your choice.

Health: Drink 1 – 2 litters of water a day.  You will notice that you have slimmed down and will be relieving your bowels more.

Golden Laws to Greatness: #7 Listen to Your Spirit

Listen to Your Spirit

You should have listened/There is someone here inside/Someone I'd thought had died/So long ago

Beyonce "Listen"

On my first trip to Nigeria, I was stranded in Lagos.  It was me listening to my spirit that got me through.  I was twenty-five, had never traveled to West Africa, knew no one, and was on a mission to immerse myself in Yoruba culture. 

That was way before Beyonce or Jay-Z got inspired to tour with an entourage that probably had bullet-proof, armored cars, security resembling the president.  As a matte of fact, I was the only non-Nigerian who was black and a woman who flew in that day. Nope, no high profile anything.  It was just me, my overalls, and my bags and the customs agents were looking at me in a line full of white males mostly from Europe and some of United States, and were wondering what I was doing there as well.

The plan was that I was to be picked up at the airport by an African-American woman who spent most of her time in the country.  I waited for ten hours.  She never came and my sojourn began.  Four days later, I arrived in Ile Ife, unharmed and ready to celebrate the Akara or Bean Cake Festival with the Yoruba people who honored their traditions and customs.

The Araba, or spiritual head of the Yoruba people looked at me and said through the interpreter that my ancestors had guided to Ile Ife, and I had listen.  Today, his words and my experience bring chill bumps.  If there was a time that I honed every survival skill I had, it was then.  It was because I was stripped of anything I thought was pragmatic or effective, and had nothing I could identify to help me, so I consciously decided to listen and follow. 

We are intuitive entities that miss so much of the underlying layers of life.  From birth there is a process that systemically strips us from honoring and following our spirits.  It is this thing called logic, or more, Westernized logic that tells us spirit does not exist and the thought of even thinking with our guts, or our sixth sense is garbage.

There are instances in your life that you are thinking right now that you wish you would have following your first mind, or listened to that voice that was telling you to go left.  But nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Logic told you to go right, and like all of us, you ended up in a gutter.  More specifically, a gutter-relationship, a gutter-career move, a gutter-friendship, a gutter-mechanic, a gutter-baby-daddy, a gutter-investment, a-gutter-business deal, a gutter-driving decision, and the list continues.

But, do you remember the time you DID follow your spirit and everything fell into place.  You were thinking, "It can't be that easy?"  Honestly, it can, if we just listen.

Destination:  The Lady's First Hotel in Zurich is a hotel that caters to women travelers. It is small, 28-room hotel in an elegant, totally renovated 19th century mansion. The top floors include a spa, rooftop terrace and workout room for women only.

Pezula Resort Hotel & Spa in Knysa, South Africa (near Cape Town) is surrounded by rugged cliffs, ancient forests and sheltered beaches, on the cliff-top of the Eastern Head, Pezula Resort Hotel & Spa offers breathtaking views of both the Knysna Lagoon and the Indian Ocean. A one hour flight from Cape Town. From the moment that guests arrive at Pezula Resort Hotel & Spa, they will realize what a truly exceptional place they have chosen. The hotel delivers a whole new world of luxury in elegant African style. http://www.pezularesorthotel.com/.

Alternate Destination: In the U.S., the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Bloomington, Minnesota has an all-female floor. It costs about $30 extra a night, and boasts rooms with makeup mirrors, fresh flowers and premium chocolates.

Lifestyle: Give yourself a trip to the spa! No sisters, a lot of you get manicures, pedicures and fingernails done at local facilities that treat you like cattle, amongst other things.  Why not try a black-owned spa that caters to your distinct aesthetic needs.

Spirit Dream Spa

The only black-owned full spa service in Las Vegas.

1811 South Jones Blvd at West Oakey

702-873-9788

http://www.spiritdreamspa.com

Tru Urban Spa

A mother-daughter team in Sacramento

604 12 Street (at F Street)

916-443-2599

http://www.truurbanspa.com/

Alternate Lifestyle: Create your own spa in your bathroom and bedroom.  It is so important for every woman to know how to maintain every part of her body and not rely on anyone.  Dedicate a day to you and lather them ashy knees or crusty feet.

Beauty:  A couple of years ago when I lived full-time in Los Angeles, I bought several products from a line I just noticed called Sade.  The products were stellar, but the store stopped carrying them and I couldn't locate the product.  Fortunately, for internet, I found her.  FolaSade is in the building and holding it down in Brooklyn where she has a flagship store.  She is a Nigerian noble raised between New York and London.  Her products consist of natural materials cultivated from her homeland and are very good. Check her out at http://sadeskincare.com/

Health: Try a Yoga class with a brother or sister.  Honestly, I didn't get Yoga until I tried it.  Whew, you do not know how much of a rat race you are running until this meditative activity stops your breaks!

Golden Laws to Greatness: #6 Honor Your Creativity

Honor Your Creativity

Runnin' 'round in circles, lost my focus/ Lost sight of my goal/ I do this for the love of music/ Not for the glitter and gold

India Arie "Little Things"

Kali Alexander of Lotus on the Nile gave an excellent lecture on fibroids.  A sister who has rid herself of fibroids said that this health issue affecting a disproportionate number of black women starts at the spiritual level when we do not listen to or express or creative energies and our personal destiny. 

Her profound statement is one of the reasons I'm pushing Excursionista.  Personally, I dreamt of this for years.  From a collective perspective, too many sisters have allowed natural talents to fall by the wayside for one reason or another.  Not even knowing that it is that very thing that is the essential element in giving us sanity and life.

Write! Sing! Dance! Sew! Bake! Act! Sculpt! Paint! Play! Crochet! Compose! CREATE!

Destination:  Peru is a country that is opulent in ancient African civilization.  People think that black people came during slavery in South America, but that is far from the truth. One hundred kilometers from Lima, Peru there is a place called Makawasi, which is also known as the Stone Forest.   It is called this because there are hundreds of stones shaped in human faces, and animals. 

There is evidence of structures that were designed in the semblance of pharaohs, sphinxes, and African intellectuals.  These structures pre-date what was thought to be the oldest civilization, the Incans.  This spiritual journey is bringing thousands of people to these sites that also are said to have dozens of spiritual vortexes.  While there you can enjoy the beauty of Lima, which also has the largest concentration of Afro-Peruvians.  In my opinion, that is not a coincidence either.

Alternate Destination: When was the last time you've been to a museum or an art galler? Today, there are so many museums that you can skip the traditional city museum.  Washington DC and New York have fascinating museums capturing different cultures.  There are also funky museums that highlight black dolls, black films, black art, and other interesting things.

Currently, black visual artists are struggling due to the embarrassingly low support of the community.  You see some of their work at festivals, or even knock-off copies, but visit their galleries, or a gallery that features their work.  Also, over the last decade art collectives have been emerging that host a group of artists who can't afford their own galleries.  Check out which one is in your neighborhood.

Lifestyle:  You have not experienced Atlanta if you have not attended the nine-day summer festival in Atlanta called the National Black Arts Festival. This festival celebrates the contributions of people of African descent and their impact on world cultures.  From visual artists to performing arts, this festival, engages, cultivates, and educates diverse audiences about the arts and culture of the African Diaspora and provide opportunities for artistic and creative expression.  Check out their site http://www.nbaf.org.

Alternate Lifestyle: Visit www.lotusonthenile.com, and call Kali, she's in California, but does work across the globe.

Beauty: Jasmine essential oil stimulates creativity.  Buy an oil burner and put 15 drops in the burner and fill the rest with distilled water (for a clean burn).  Your house will smell wonderful and your inspiration will increase.  Five drops of pure jasmine oil in avocado oil and give your body a vigorous rub while whispering affirmations.

Health: Pomegranate Juice is good for the blood and treating fibroids.

Golden Laws to Greatness: #5 Get Up, Get Out and Do Something

Get Up, Get Out and Do Something

"We who believe in freedom cannot rest. We who believe in freedom cannot rest until it comes."

Sweet Honey in the Rock "Ella's Song"

Turmoil, political unrest, war, hate crimes, sexual violence, corruption, and so many other social atrocities have greatly impacted the world. Now is the time for us to take positive action, as well as stay abreast of current issues. Reading and dialoguing are just the beginning of contributing to redevelop and stabilize this world.

In the United States, presidential elections are around the corner, and it is critical for us to be involved in every facet of the political process. Since the US has its hands in many international affairs, our work here affects our sisters all over the world.

From your place of work, to the community, to the national issues, we must be active. Voting is just one way because political activism and education go far beyond the ballot. I am the last one to criticize anyone who does not believe in the voting process, but I challenge everyone to politicize themselves.

Internationally, countries such as Kenya are involved in a bloody and bitter post-presidential election that has left hundreds dead. There are people who are willing to die for fair elections. That struggle is deep and runs through the struggle of all oppressed people, and nations who are recovering after years of oppression, colonialism, and slavery.

What I do call from Excursionista readers is that we consider looking at the world from a Pan-African vantage point. This means we understand that black people are connected all over the world. Then after we embrace our intimate ties, we must honor this link.

When you travel more, you will see the physical resemblances of people of the Afrian Diaspora from Peru to Panama. I guarantee you will meet your aunt, uncle, mother, best friend, or someone that you know in another country.

Let me not deviate from this Golden Law to Gr8tness. Your participation in the flow of this world is critical. Even if for a second you give your all, you have given to the world a lot, thus you have served as our salvation.

Destination: It is summer in South Africa and the perfect time to check out the country's three major cities which are Johannesburg, Durban, and Cape Town. You will be immersed in various cultures that richly carve out a country known for its intricate clash of contemporary and tradition, European and African, Asian and Indigenous Nations. The cities are situated in distinct areas of the country, and have their own beauty.

Let's start with Cape Town. A picturesque city by sea located on the western coast is experiencing major developments due to it being the host of the 2010 FIFA World Cup, the über soccer event of the world.

Durban, which is also identified by the original inhabitants as Kwa Zulu Natal, is a breathtaking region on the west coast of the country by the sea as well. The hotels and inns are very reasonable. When I was there, my friend got a penthouse suite in the off season for US $45 a night. I know much has changed since then. I remember the beautiful purple flowers on hills and mountains of lush green. Don't sleep, to get to the memorial site of Shaka Zulu was a disappointing journey because the Indian people in the area ridiculed this celebrated African warrior.

Johannesburg is like a mixture of New York, Washington, DC, and Miami with a Zulu/Xhosa swagger. You know it's the city, but it emits an African flair that I love. The city is filled with these grand mansions once occupied by rich whites, but now the owners have diversified somewhat. You can easily visit Soweto, or the infamous Sun City. Please, don't sleep on this city because the gun-clappers are out and you definitely have to watch your back.

Alternate Destination: Black Paris Tour is a company founded by Ricky Stevenson of Oakland, California USA, who had the desire to live in Paris after her career as an international travel journalist. This tour gives you the historical and contemporary depth of the black presence in Paris. You can contact Ricki at Rickis@club-internet.fr or phone her at (from the U.S): 011.331.46.37.03.96; In Paris call: 01.46.37.03.96; Cell Phone: 06.62.68.03.96. Read about her online: http://www.tomtmusic.com/id155.htm.

Lifestyle: Film Festivals to Consider

Images of Black Women African Descent Women in Cinema
http://www.imagesofblackwomen.com

Pan-African Film Festival
www.paff.org

African Film Festival
http://www.africanfilmny.org

National Black Arts Film Festival
http://www.nbaf.org

Langston Hughes African American Film Festival
http://langstonblackfilmfest.org

African American Women in Cinema
www.aawic.org

American Black Film Festival
http://www.abff.com

Alternate Lifestyle: Read a Book Sista! Other than the street novels and gutter love stories . . . not hatin' on Zane, I'm just saying daaggggggg, step outta your box! Here are a couple of fiction and non-fiction women writers to look up (some have already made their transition). Bessie Head(South Africa), Mariama Ba(Senegal), Octavia Butler(USA), Toni Morrison(USA), Ama Ata Aidoo(Ghana), Maryse Conde(Guadelouoe), Assata Shakur (USA, but has been living in Cuba since she escaped from prison), Tananarive Due (USA), & Nalo Hopkinson(West Indies/Canada).

Beauty & Health: Water is great medicine! Drinking the right amount of water increases your metabolism, moves your digestive system, cleanses your body, and clears your skin. It is always good to drink lots of water during travel.

Golden Laws to Greatness: #4 Move!

Move!

"I'm taking my own freedom, putting it in my stroll, I'll be high stepping y'all, letting the joy unfold."

Jill Scott "Golden"

Many of us are losing the battle of health because of sedentary lifestyles. Whether we are riding in the car, or hibernating in our homes during snowy, cold winters, we have got to incorporate more movement. 

Personally, I hate the word "exercise" because it connotes a societal pressure that tells me if I don't "exercise" than that means I'm lazy.  We all know that is bullshit because black women are hard workers—yet most of the time we are working for the benefit of others.  As a result, we neglect the maintenance of ourselves.

I'm discovering that carving out a fitness program must be creative.  Most of us drop out because of the boring "routines" we use.  I've learned to also despise the word "routine" because it equates to a bland sex life.  And please do not mention "work out" because the word "work" is in the phrase and I've been working since the age of 14 and am still broke.

So approach working out to the best sex life you ever want to have.  Throw in some dance lessons, with power walks around your block, or try Yoga and morning stretches, belly dancing and personalized strip tease shows (for your honey, or just work on your game for future usage); try boogie boarding, squatting and performing leg lifts during your lunch break; stretch those underused limbs; and between all that tighten up womb with pelvic squeezes.

Destination: Los Angeles. Lots of sun, a lot of outdoor activities. 

Alternate Destination: Local roller skating or ice skating rink

Lifestyle:  African Arts Festival in Atlanta going on now until July 18

Alternate Lifestyle: Take an ethnic dance class

Beauty: Hot water damages the hair, so when you wash try room temperature water to save those roots.

Health: MSM for joints; Kelp and Alfalfa for energy; Chlorophyll helps cells regenerate, pumps oxygen in your body, prevents aging and helps alkaline the body.

Golden Laws to Greatness: #3 Learn Your Body

Learn Your Body

This is how I look without makeup
And with no bra my ninny's sag down low
My hair ain't never hung down to my shoulders
And it might not grow
Ya' never know

                                                                             Erykah Badu "Cleva"

I had one of those mothers that gave me little instruction on my body.  One day she just told me that my body was a temple and I should treat it as such.  Well, I quite was not able to conceptualize my body being a temple at age nine, and would go clueless about my body for about ten years more.

Many black women were taught various portions of learning our bodies.  Some were given birth control before they were having sex and were damn near pilfered if they even thought about intercourse.  Others were shown basic things like wearing sanitary pads, bras, and matching underwear.  Some with the help of women folk, even went through rites of passage to their womanhood.  Unfortunately, most of us walk through life not knowing much about our bodies—meaning the physical, spiritual, and emotional components. 

First, let's be clear, black women's bodies have been commodified. Our bodies have been turned into a product to exploit and fuck rather than be worshipped and adored. This is waaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy before hip-hip, so please do not get it twisted.  We have abused for so long that abuse has become our natural infliction.  Now many of us have been shamed into knowing the difference between our nipples from our third chakra.

Then, there is this twisted interpretation of religion that distances women more from knowing themselves.  All of our traditions and customs have been so suppressed by anti-African, imbalanced, and synthetic versions of spirituality, black women are walking around with wombs full of fibroids, various types of thyroid conditions, prolapsed uteruses, and depressed sensuality trying to pray all of their preventable ailments away.

I am not casting judgment, but just being true to me, because I too fall in that category.  I am a black woman who is also learning her body.  I've been in uncomfortable situations and confused moments as well that a doctor, or priestess, or my mama could not explain.  It is because my body has its own blueprint, its own map that only I could decode and understand.

Herbs, counselors, priests, books, crystals, and yoga classes are all tools that we can use to learn our bodies.  We experiment or we test these various rituals and places of knowledge by applying them into our lives.  They teach us how to understand; however, everything isn't for everybody—meaning what works for me maybe different when you try to apply it.  That's when the learning process begins.

Many women have told me to be still, I do that though sometimes I fall short.  However, often when I do, in my stillness my body comes alive and tells me to be active. So I run on the seashore and listen to the melodies of ocean, I open my legs to the breeze and let nature cleanse my center, I walk on the cool sand and massage my toes.  There I feel the aches in my womb or the peace of knees.

Like you I am still learning and refining.

Destination:  Egypt. In the antiquities of this spiritual place the term "Know Thyself" was the mantra for all.  Discover the pillar, the cornerstone to all that you see today.

Alternate Destination: Sedona, AZ is known for red rocks mountains and the Kachina indigenous people who have houses in the cliffs like the Dogon of Mali.  

Lifestyle: Belly Dancers of Color Fest & Soul Yoga Fest, May 23 – 26, Washington DC www.bellydancersofcolor.org.  

Alternate Lifestyle: Purchase Moor Hips Bellydance Instructional DVD Vol. 1 by Dr. Sunyatta Amen

Beauty: Unrefined Coconut oil for hair, face, and body

Health: Smile at yourself and others more. The facial movements in a smile bring internal relief.  Nurture a house plant, or find a tree, flower, or some vegetation that you greet, it will send you back love.

Golden Laws to Greatness: #2 Allow Yourself to Be Completely & Totally Loved

Allow Yourself to Be Completely & Totally Loved

I had a paralyzing fear of facing failure

And I couldn't love you perfectly with fear in my head
So I perilously had to face the danger
So I could come back and love you whole instead
All of your soul I said!

Lauryn Hill "Lose Myself"

We all have scars from severed relationships, friendships, cruel relatives, and other life experiences.  Some of us, if not many of us, place our hearts in a steel cage thinking that we are protecting ourselves against predators; however, we become the killers of our souls. Yet and still, we look at movies, read novels, and write scripts in our heads that yell "We want to be loved".

Many of us think that showering ourselves with material things is exhibiting self-love, but often that is an action that indicates we are substituting true self-love for things that will fade away.  Eternal love is this unmovable energy that sits on your head's crown, in the nape of your neck, with every pulse of your heart, at the base of your womb, in the small of your back, behind your knees, and at the balls of your toes.

For me, I did have to lose myself, meaning I had to release all I thought I knew about me and about life to reconnect with who I really was.  It was a volatile and painful death, but once I let go, I entered into a peace and became clear on what I wanted and needed.  When came into me, I finally saw him then allowed him into my world.

Surrender to your love, to his love, to her love, to universal love.  

Have I found the Promised Land? Hah! Once you think you are home you realize you have so many miles to go. So that's why I've cooked up some travel and lifestyle ideas for you.

Destination:  Try a Bed & Breakfast, there are many local B&B's that are in your town, or across town.  Even if you live in the country, or rural areas, many of the older homes have been transformed. Here is a list of some B&B's that have gotten attention for their stellar service.

Phoenix Risin' B&B located in ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Baltimore is owned by Janice Orr, a sister who is a civil rights, international human rights, and entertainment attorney. For an additional cost, you may also have in-room massages, facials, manicures and pedicures performed by licensed practitioners. Check her out at http://www.phoenixrisin.com. Phoenix Risin', 1429 Bolton Street, Baltimore, Maryland 21217, Telephone: (410) 462–2692, Fax: (410) 523–3434, Email: jorrphoenixrisin@aol.

Glendale Glasslight Inn is in historic Glendale, AZ that describes itself as retro-chic. Ran by innkeepers Paul and Teresa Seabrook it offers unique cozy rooms, a coffee and wine bar, and a piano lounge reminiscent of the old west. 5747 W. Glendale Avenue, Glendale, AZ 85301. Phone for more information, (623) 934-9114

The Foley House awarded in the top 25 B&B's of the south and one of the most romantic in the country it is Savannah Georgia's oldest bed and breakfast. The Inn sits on a quiet street nestled between two of Savannah's oldest churches. Opulent in mesmerizing charm, attentive southern hospitality, and the legendary slower pace of the old south it is definitely a lover's getaway or can be a private retreat. www.foleyinn.com. It is located 14 W. Hull St, Savannah, GA  or call 1 (800) 647-3708.

Akwaaba Inns is made up of husband and wife team Glenn Pogue and Monique Greenwood. They have collection of upscale B&B's from Brooklyn to New Orleans. Locations are as followed Akwaaba Mansion (Brooklyn, NY); Akwaaba by the Sea (Cape May, NJ); Akwaaba at Buttonwood Manor (Cape May, NJ); Akwaaba D.C. (Washington, D.C.); Akwaaba in the Bayou (New Orleans, LA).  Their historical properties have been restored and renovated to top-notch lavishness. They are divine and worth every cent.  Check out their website http://www.akwaaba.com or call at (866) inn-dulj or fax (718) 455-9697.

Alternate Destination: Your local day spa.

Lifestyle: Check out St. Lucia's Food & Rum Festival from October 30 – November 8 http://www.foodandrumfestival.com.  This festival features chefs from all over the Caribbean. It consists of dinners featuring menus from our invited chefs, lectures on rum, chef demonstrations, rum tastings of over 40 rums from across the region and concerts held on Saturday and Sunday night.

Alternate Lifestyle: A Damn Good Mojito. 7 sprigs of mint leaves, 1 small lime, 2 cups of water, ¼ cup of agave or turbinado sugar (I love it sweet), 2 ounces of brown Cuban rum (or to your desire, I prefer more J). Mix and chill over ice while listening to a Cassandra Wilson CD.  White jasmine candles are nice!

Beauty: Sprinkle pure cinnamon oil in your bedroom linen and on your pillows for love; Take a bath with rose petals, orange slices, and honey. All these things you can get out of your kitchen or access them easily (rose petals also come dried as a flower herb).

Health: Buy some rose petals, chamomile flowers, and raw organic honey to make a wonderful elixir then drink it ice cold (in the cold winter regions try it hot). Did you know you could drink rose petals? You can, it is a traditional drink in Senegal that is delicious.  If you look in the Latino sections of markets they sometimes have rose petals for $2 or less.  I used to pick them up in Los Angeles all the time in the store called "Food For Less" on Century and Western. To spice it up drop in a cinnamon stick.