TSA Debaucle & Douche Bags

“It is weakness rather than wickedness which renders men unfit to be trusted with unlimited power.” John Adams, 1788

As I was coming off of a blissful wedding weekend, I was irritated by the boys and girls in blue. Nope, not the police this time; but those damn law enforcement rejects who stand at the mammagram machines at airports.

Mu'fucking T-S-A employees who act like peons attempting to use their ounce of power because they hate on people who can actually get on a plane and leave the city. Travel mu'fucka, travel!

"Assholes Following Orders" is a better title for these sadistic, lap-dogs. All of that unsecurity made me miss my plane.

I thought security is supposed to make you feel safe, not dehumanize you?

When I recently flew out of LAX, I was patted down like I had on a burqa and a ticking sound under my clothes. All I had on was a skirt and a bandana to keep my hair tied down (I'mma black woman what do you expect).

Next time I fly, I'll go barefoot while wearing a thong and some plastic nipple pasties.

With the new "threat" of travelers the check in at airports are nothing short of a pap smear or testicular exams. Might as well say, "Breathe, the spatula will be a little cold" or "Cough".

And the validation that they sell the public is that they are keeping the airports safer. So folks agree to being violated in the public. That is not what being an American citizen, or in fact, a human, is about.

Real Quick Story.

An 80-plus elder in my family was taken through the ringer this week because her pacemaker kept going off. As she tried to explain her internal machine, the TSA chick told her that they would have to take off her wig to check under her hairpiece. Oh no she didn't!

My family elder's reply was, "You take off my wig, I will slap the shit out of you."

Of course the response from that little punk TSA bitch was, "Security."

No wonder Osama Bin Laden and underwear bombers of the world do not get caught. TSA is chasing grannies with Elizabeth Taylor wigs.

So here is my top 10 List of Why TSA Needs an Enema
10. TSA employees who go slower when there is a long line of people.

9. TSA employees who drink confiscated liquor (like my $150 bottle of whiskey).

8. TSA employees who are overzealous in patting you down, but are underachievers in common social decency as they monitor your private areas. Watch my DD's sweetheart they are home grown.

7. TSA employees have a serious turnover rate because they hate their jobs.

6. TSA employees who think they are cops and God.


5. TSA employees who steal your luggage or good pair of panties.

4. TSA employees who take out their frustration on unassuming travelers.

3. TSA employees who failed the SWAT Team test like 20 times, but swear they have the eye of an eagle, only to find out that the "suspicious object" was your dildo.

2. TSA employees who let people they are cool cut in front of you and smuggle in their medical marijuana from California.

1. TSA employees who report to work 1 hour early so they can prepare in doing the ultimate task of frisking 1,000 people a day.