Call the Sharks, I See Tourists Off the Isle of Labadee

Labadee, a small island just north of the island-nation of Haiti has been hosting cruise ships such as Royal Caribbean and Carnival Cruises since the early 2000s. And recently the Guardian news exposed Royal Caribe's decision to resume business as usual, while people are still being pulled out of the rubble in the southern region of the country.

While full-bellied, farting tourists kayak in the pristine waters of the picturesque Labadee, I am summoning all of the slave sharks to pay them a visit. Please take a nice chunk out of ig'nant flesh and follow them home.

However, I must point out that this exploitative deal that cruise ships established with Haiti was deal that was started years before this incident.

No one reported how cruises docked on the ports during the Aristide coup in 2004. Nor did people care when Haiti spent $55 million to update the port for the ships while folk were starving on the street.

Haiti was just another poor and effed up country. But now since it is envogue to illuminate the injustices and corrupt backdoor deals that have not benefited the everyday Haitian, Royal Caribbean gets to be the scape-goat for many corporations that come in and take everything from body parts to brilliant pieces of art in exchange for some pennies and 10-year-old frozen chicken legs.

I went on a cruise some years ago to Labadee. Then there were guards stationed in the hills to protect the tourists from the locals who were oh, trying to secure food instead of eat mudpies. I later found out that Haitians had to get special permission and had passes to get to Labadee. Interesting, a citizen did not have access to what was their land, but Pierre from Paris does.

Of course Royal Caribbe said the business in Haiti right now would help them rebuild. Umph. They so graciously pledged $1 million in aid, the equivalent to what is paid to sail one of the company's Titanic-like ships for one trip.

Ahh, slave sharks hurry up, so much ass is waiting for you.