Dan Gilbert's Slave Owner Tactics: I'm Glad You Left the Plantation LeBron

Quiet as kept, I am a native buckeye and I say bravo to LeBron James for knowing that he has broken the chains of one slavemaster, Dan Gilbert, the majority owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers.

And Boo to Gilbert for being unprofessional and acting like a true slave owner whose best buck just ran away.

Yesterday after announcing he was going to Miami. Gilbert released a scathing letter calling James a traitor, and someone who betrayed Cleveland. Wow, how the tides change when your money bag has left the building.

Plus Dan Gilbert is from Michigan! How the hell can someone from the bowels of Detroit call someone a traitor. That's that pimp shit.

Just a couple of months ago while James was playing in the playoffs he was God's right hand man in the eyes of Gilbert who was racking in millions of dollars as the true businessman he is. James wasn't "heartless and callous" then was he Gilbert?

Now since LeBron has made a business decision, Gilbert attempts to discredit his savvy business decision and his major accomplishments in that hell hole of franchise that he helped build from the time he was 18-years-old.

You'd think that Gilbert would congratulate a man who has maneuvered through multiple obstacles, brought life to an almost defunct city, and as of late, overcame the challenge of moving beyond his mother getting her back thrown out by two of his teammates.

But Gilbert in true greedy capitalistic money-hungry fashion that was far from sportsman-like conduct, did more than add fuel to the fire he took bitch jabs at LeBrons nuts.

Gilbert writes:
"The self-declared former “King” will be taking the “curse” with him down south. And until he does “right” by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma."

No Gilbert you're wrong about him transporting any bad mojo because the curse of him being under your spell like some child who doesn't know right from wrong o can't make his own decisions has been lifted.

And if he never wins a championship, he has already won for being a man of his own mind.

Gilbert go back to Cleveland and start trading for a better squad you arrongant, exploitative prick.

PS. Now its time for LeBron to figure out how he can pay for his own freedom under the new plantation called, Miami. They do grow nice mangoes in the form of silicon boobs I hear.

LeBron, Your Mother Smashed the Homie

So I was not tripping when LeBron James gave the worst performance I have ever seen by an MVP Player in the playoffs.

Now I know why his spirit was messed up. It has been confirmed that his Cougar of a mother, Gloria James was indeed having butt-naked hot sex with team member Delonte West and another player (who has not been revealed).

And according to sports announcer Calvin Murphy, everyone on the team knew except LeBron.

Goddam! Now that is a raw deal.

Murphy was interviewed on ESPN satellite radio a couple of days ago and said that his sources are legit. Click here for interview.

It is now official, Gloria James is on the cougar list and she is collecting names.

But me being a woman who has befriended a couple of cougars, I had to look into Gloria's life and see what was her reasoning. I applaud love and how it manifests in the strangest ways so I will not condemn, initially.

One of the sports announcers who interviewed Calvin Murphy about the incident vocalized their disgust, but I am not one who believes in putting the Scarlet letter on the woman.

But this incident makes you wonder. Out of all the young men that could've waxed Gloria's ass, she had to plug his team members. Come on sis', you could've fucked an irrelevant player, like someone on the Tiberwolves, Nets or the Clippers.

However, after a cursory investigation, it is unfortunate to see that Gloria is like a middle version of Keisha Cole's mother, Frankie, the abominable cougar crackhead and Beyonce's daddy, Matthew Knowles, dick'em down dingo who recently had a baby with a woman 20+ years younger than he and not his soon-to-be-ex-wife Tina.

And what I saw after my investigation, a little girl who loves thugs, disregarded her son and went for self and hooked up with a bad-boy who also is a selfish son-of-a-bitch and stabs his brothers in the back. What a nice toxic cocktail.


But isn't it eerie that she looks more like his sister than his mother. On top of that, LeBron looks older than she in some angles. I hope that's just his old soul, and not mainly life and all of its unanswered questions wearing him out.

First problem for Gloria, she had LeBron at 16, and her mother died shortly after. This probably was around the time Gloria stopped growing and still operates with the maturity of a teenager. LeBron was in foster-care when he was younger as his mother tried to understand life and navigate as a teen-mom who was hired for menial jobs as an unskilled worker.

Plus they were in Akron, OH, poor LeBron, he didn't have a chance. No wonder those bright lights and b-ball players with dispensable cash fascinated his petite, hot mama once he hit the NBA.

But like a lot of children who have not consistently had their biological parents in their lives, LeBron craved for that affection and connection; especially in a society that worships the functional nuclear family unit, but never produces one except on TV.

I would not be surprised if LeBron was the "man" of the house as a kid growing up and served as her proxy husband while she looked for "Mr. Right" in all the wrong places. And who was "Mr. Right"? A long-time boyfriend named Eddie Jackson who was in-and-out of jail and served as the only father figure for LeBron for sometime.

Nevertheless, he forgave and adores his mother, and shares his success with her....until now. But as annoncer Calvin Murphy puts it, everyone is not ready for the success and limelight. What she did was straight up scandolous!

However, Mr. EcoSoul interjected, "What can he do to his mother? It's his mother!" Well, I know a lot of my friends of the whiter persuasion would defintely disown her and leave her in an old folks home, never to see her again once she was old.

But I understand Mr. EcoSoul's point. Now, if there is one thing I know about black men, you do not fuck with or plug their mothers. That is a death sentence. West knew he was walking into a death valley by dropping semen into the best player of the NBA.

So let's move onto Delonte West's thirsty, gutter-bucket, nasty ass.

First problem, he is married and has a history of domestic issues, from getting his ass beat by his former girlfriend, to assualt charges against him in another past relationship.

He also is facing gun charges for getting stopped by a traffic officer while riding a 3-wheeled cycle last year. Interestingly, the trial was pushed back to July of this year. I guess they thought Cleveland was going to the championships.

So here you have the real motherfucker, Delonte West and is annoying red hair.

There goes your career, marriage, and possibly your penis.