Saturday, April 16, 2011

Chicken Nuggets & Weaves

I thought I knew a little something about hair until I got my hair braided into a simple chignon last weekend. My stylist was bragging about how she put in a 28 piece weave earlier that day, and a 27 piece weave the day before.

"WTF is a 28 piece weave? Does it resemble chicken nugget specials?" I thought to myself.

I just kept saying "uh hmm" as she braided because I was trying to get through her Nicki Minaj ring tones and the yelling at her kids named "Sharpie" "Sha Sha" and some other shit.

Later that night, after I greased the shit out of my throbbing edges, but was quite pleased at the facelift I got because my braids were so damn tight, I googled "28 piece weave" and was flooded with information. How did I not know?28 pieces weaves are the latest thing going since, weave tracks.

Better than putting money down on some property.

I was absolutely fascinated and simultaneously puzzled at the weave industry that black people have so little a financial stake or profit.

Weaves have evolved like KFC wannabe chicken. Just like the genetically altered poultry, the chickens have gotten bigger, and the process of growing them have gotten more sophisticated, but the end result is disaster. Just like you don't have any chicken, you don't have any more hair.

Like the fake KFC chicken, weaves are made to generate money, though not created for proper body maintenance. Cooked up in a Korean and Chinese labs with synthetic materials and pasted on our heads with scalp searing glues, the resemblance of 28 piece weave and a chicken is quite uncanning.

Can someone please explain why we leave weaves in our hair until the whole office can smell the rank order of unwashed scalp, sweat and caked on hair products seeping through?

Ugh.

Okay, and one more thing. The black tar glue plastered onto the head with the cap. Gross.

For those of you who are as uninformed as I am. I dropped a video for you. Why are we more versed in weaves than in let's say, saving money. Nice moustache chica.

1 ish talking intellectuals holla at a sista:

Reggie said...

Wow!!!

I guess I'm about as ignorant as they come where it concerns "extra hair". I'm forever fascinated by some of the styles though. Today when I was coming out of a grocery store here in Charleston, I saw a young woman with gold hair piled on her head looking like Marge Simpson.

I thought she looked ridiculous, but I'll bet it took forever and a day to get that look together. It's just too damned hard to be a woman, that's why I like being a man. Twice a week I shave my head and keep it moving. I don't even think about my hair unless I'm cutting it or knocking lint out of it.

I just don't have time.

I like to see a pretty woman with a nice do........but the Marge Simpson thing was overboard.

Oh and Kool-Aid hair..........I don't like seeing that either. If the color of your hair is a flavor of Kool-Aid, please don't do that shit!!!


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